We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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