I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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