i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
