I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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