jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize