After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
