so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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