pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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