Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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