I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
