walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
