You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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