Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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