we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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