I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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