is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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