just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
