Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
