My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
