u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
