Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
