1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
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