In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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