Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
