I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
