Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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