and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
