And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
