im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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