dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize