So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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