My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
