and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize