whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Someone shattered a urinal.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize