you mean i was at the winter classic?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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