I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
