I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
