I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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