I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
