Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize