i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
