My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
