what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
