I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
