a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
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