do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
What a dumb baby whore.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
