bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
