idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I am one with the molecules
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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