He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
