i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize