The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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