Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
