I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize