sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
