i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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