Nicole vs. Life
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
