His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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