i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
