Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
