i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
