I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
