apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
