Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You made out with two different species that night
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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